What would you think of a police officer, trying to make a traffic stop, but he has no vehicle, no gun, nothing but a badge and a whistle. As you drive past, the officer is yelling and whistling, but everyone just passes by with a puzzled look of wonderment. There is nothing to back up the threats.
Have you seen parents trying to corral their children that are running wild in a store, maybe yelling and threatening them? Maybe you have been in that situation. It’s time to take control and back up your words with actions.
…This worked for us:
About 7:30 each night, nearing the bedtime hour (notice, children do thrive best with structure and stability), I would begin telling the kids to pick up their toys, put them away and get their teeth brushed. They would say, “OK Dad, let me just…” I then would begin to get angry and my voice would increase in volume. Still no action. Bedtime would be at hand or past, and they were no where near doing what they were told. Now I am mad. That crazy person erupts from inside me, I am yelling and getting up; that’s the mark the kids know, it’s now time to go brush teeth. Toys are still scattered on the floor where they had been played with.
Introduce the “Bag of Doom.”
Feeling the frustration and not liking who I became, we came up with the “Bag of Doom.” 7:30 came around and I, as usual, told the kids to start picking up toys and get ready for bed. They hem-hawed around and as 8:00 struck, I picked up two kids, not saying a word, didn’t have to lose my cool, but carried them into the bathroom to brush teeth and get ready. I then carried them off to bed, tucking them in with a little story, never raising my voice. The many toys left out went into the grocery bag, now clearly printed, “Bag of Doom.” This then was placed on top of the refrigerator for a two-week period. All was quiet, rooms were straightened, there was peace – for now.
In the morning, the kids were looking for certain favorite toys, “Oh, they are here in the “Bag of Doom.” They will stay there for two-weeks. Now they are extremely upset, but we held to our position. Nothing comes out of the bag for this period, although we made it clear other toys left out would be added to the bag.
7:30 comes around, I stand up and announce it’s time to pick up toys and get ready for bed. The change was remarkable. The kids did as they were told, without crying, screaming, or hem-hawing. Why? we backed up our words with solid action. I did not have to become the crazy person and off to bed with peace and a short story.
Remember who is the parent and who is in control. There is no place for rebellion against your authority. There is no need to harshly discipline a child, but know they will test your stand and authority. You must make this the standard, do it all the time. It may take a little time, but they will quickly learn that tantrums, crying, screaming won’t work. Don’t take their attempts to dissuade you, or knock you off the newly set course, personally. You can take back control in your home without being that crazy person you dislike so!
