When parents have different styles of parenting, especially in regards to correcting your child(ten), kids will pick up on that and pit one against the other. So it is better for either both parents to be too strict or too lenient. Be consistent. Understand the children do need correction which is discipline. It has been said, the best discipline is self-discipline. However, few children are sophisticated enough for meaningful self-discipline.
So you will have to discipline a child or children. For some today that feels like a bad word, but it really is not. Children do thrive within boundaries. So be consistent with those boundaries, for both of you in two parent homes. Children without boundaries quickly run out of control. That is why we suggest both parents to agree on the style of parenting before a child is born.
We never want to abuse a child, no matter the circumstances. If you feel you want to hurt your child, (on rare occasion that may be your feeling – but you don’t act on it). If you can’t keep from really wanting to hurt your child, please seek some help, because this will not turn out to benefit anyone. I mention this because some people correlate discipline with abuse, but those are two very different things.
Decide early on if you will spank (when a child is old enough to truly grasp right and wrong), or use ‘time-outs’ or removal of privileges. There is a Biblical principle of rewards for right actions and loss of rewards for wrong actions. It is important that the child knows what they did wrong (or in cases of reward for good behavior – some gained benefit), and what the punishment being given is the result. The New Testament in the Bible also gives us the principle of God correcting His child. He always corrects just enough to change our behavior. That’s where it becomes difficult for parents to know. But you know and love your child and want them to grow into production adults.
Let your methods be measured with love and understanding, while not accepting wrong doing. This is an area both parents need to come to agreement before your baby is born. It is a good idea to write this out so you have agreement and understanding. Later, when your patience is being tried, and it will be tried to the extreme, you both stay the course you have previously agreed upon. This will save all types of aggravations between the parents.